


Bait and Switch

by Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw



Series: October Ficlet Challenge [32]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gen, Platonic Female/Male Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 14:05:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12389595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw/pseuds/Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw
Summary: Bill finds herself attracting some unwanted attention and enlists the Doctor to help her out of a jam.Prompt: Pretend couple. Pairing: platonic Bill Potts & Twelfth Doctor





	Bait and Switch

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt, title, and beta by the superior imaginary_golux.
> 
> Features an appearance from a surprise character!

Bill Potts was just fine, no need to ask. The Doctor was two tables to her left, having a private conversation with someone he didn't care to introduce to her. Which was just fine in her books, because three tables to her right was this straight up gorgeous broad with legs longer than Bill is tall. And currently she's just sharing her little table with a hookah full of whatever the local equivalent of hashish was, trying to mellow out enough to string three coherent words together around Superlegs. Because seriously apparently being a gay black woman wasn't enough; she had to clam up around any decent looking gal she wanted to chat up. Just a minute more, she told herself.

This plan was rudely cut short by the appearance of two aliens. One was the approximate size, build, color, and smell of a cinder block shithouse, though Bill supposed he was meant to come off that way, and was probably rather fetching as far as lady brick outhouses were concerned. She could recommend one of her supervisors at the caf, as all that went. The other was very handsome if you liked them maroon and male. (Bill was indifferent as to the first, but the second was a nonstarter.) "Evening, miss? Suppose we could have the pleasure of buying you a drink?"

"Thanks, but I'm really okay." Bill smiled and hoped she came across as disarming, not low-key shitting herself.

"You look lonely," Cinder Block pressed.

Bill took a deep breath and prayed for forgiveness from the Goddess of Feminism for what she was about to do, but seriously, what was the point of traveling with someone who looked like the embodiment of the patriarchy if you couldn't take advantage? "Actually, my boyfriend is right over there." She waved and called "John!" because they were traveling so incognito on this trip that he needed a code name on top of his code name. He walked over obligingly. _Play along_ , she mouthed before pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.

"Color's nice, but you could do better," Cinder Block decided.

"I've met very few better than Bill," the Doctor jumped in defensively.

"You don't look like a couple." Handsome narrowed his eyes. "What's the last thing she got you?"

"A rug," the Doctor blurted out.

"Not very romantic," Handsome jeered.

"But you wouldn't believe what we've done on it," Bill added hastily. Which was true, because they had taken off with the TARDIS from there, and Bill still wasn't sure how that worked except that it was _awesome_.

Before either of their interrogators could pry further, a cool feminine voice interrupted. "Sorry, boys. They're with me. So hands off the boyfriend and the girlfriend." A possessive hand settled on Bill's shoulder. Bill snuck a glance out of the corner of her eye: it’s the same brunette the Doctor had been talking to before. Thank fuck she has a better idea of how to handle people.

“Oh shit, sorry, miss.” Cinder Block stood up so fast he knocked his chair over. “We didn’t realize you were dating the Doctor.”

“Yeah, that’s right,” the Doctor said to their retreating backs.

The tiny stranger coughed. “Actually, they meant me. Brilliant liar shows up in a TARDIS and saves the day, people get ideas. I don’t always correct them.” The Doctor blinked. “Why did you think we were drinking for free? The psychic paper doesn’t work on the natives here.”

“Clara! Have you been operating under false pretenses!” 

Clara blushed. “You’re one to talk: you two make a terrible fake couple.”

“Let’s just say you’re more my type,” Bill replied. 

“Maybe later,” Clara said with a wink. “But what I told those two thugs was only a half-truth.”

Bill looked at her, at the Doctor, and at the hand still on the Doctor’s shoulder. “Not bad, gramps.” She high-fived him.

“Come on,” Clara laughed. “I’ll introduce you to Ashildr. You’ll like her.”

“Way to keep me from third-wheeling,” Bill told Clara appreciatively before turning to the Doctor. “You’ve got excellent taste in girlfriends.”

“I like to think I have superior taste in fake girlfriends, too.” Bill beamed at the Doctor’s words.


End file.
